The seasons are changing and Spring has definitely hit Dayton, OH. My allergies will be the first to tell you. Anyways, I am now in a definite size 8. For the first time ever in my life the double digits are too big. Many of you are reading this and thinking "congrats", "way to go", or "I wish that was me." As I go through last year's wardrobe every item is too big.
As a former fatty you get use to hearing things like "you're just thick", "you hide your weight well", "you have such a pretty face", and "you're big boned, not fat." At a very young age you develop a pretty awesome sense of humor about being fat. "Baby Got Back" and "Fat Bottomed Girls" were the tribute songs for me and my friends. I could easily poke humor at myself, my weight, or the amounts of food we were eating that could cause the room to roar in laughter. Every overweight person has these abilities. They will also tell you to add cream cheese or sour cream to anything and it will taste better. (You're shaking your head in agreement, aren't you?) When you've been a fat person for 37 years, it's a huge adjustment to think of yourself any other way.
I've lost over 35Lbs and have gone from a size 16 to a size 8. I no longer hear the above descriptions, but instead hear "you're thin!" or "i wish i had your body". These statement are new to me and I have gotten pretty good at just saying a simple, thank you. But there are a lot of changes associated with losing weight that some people don't understand.... or possibly think you're crazy for saying you are having a hard time adjusting too. Such as working in an industry that is all men and for the first time having them look at you like you're a piece of meat. Um, gentlemen, we use to talk and laugh about wiring and stupid stuff... please stop looking at my ass. The hardest thing I have found is shopping for new clothes. Out of habit I immediately go to the XL sizes. I then have to remind myself that those will not fit. No, I'm not joking about this, I took 12's into the dressing with me last weekend.... just in case. And no, they did not fit.
Probably the biggest mind game is from other women. Man we can be hard on each other, why is this? After chiming in on a conversation among overweight women about their biggest loser contest, I was replied with "like you've ever had a weight a problem!" I mentally thought - I'm one of you! How dare you think I'm one of those skinny girls I use to want to punch! - but then I remembered they never knew the old me. I proceeded to tell them my story which led to many questions and a mutual respect for one another. Funny thing, this story also goes the other way. I recently had a very, very close friend tell me "you look great, but I don't think it will last. You like pizza too much." My heart dropped. What if they are right? What if I can't keep this weight off? Those words stayed with me for weeks. But then I remembered how much I love proving people wrong!
So what's a fat girl gone
